seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
