i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize