I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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