I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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