I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
