Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
