What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
