Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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