why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
