you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
