We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
