So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
