im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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