An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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