it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
