so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
