whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
