Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize