She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Mom said you looked used
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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