I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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