for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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