What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
