At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
