Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Im part way to drunk.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
