if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am one with the molecules
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
