I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We had to coat check the pizza.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
