if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm both gender and math confused
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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