i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
