I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
