i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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