dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
