"it" just moved
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
