i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize