we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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