Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Duck Duck Cougar?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize