my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
