This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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