Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize