i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
