Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
