They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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