he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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