i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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