you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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