My hand turned me down
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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