My pussy is not your playground.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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