DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
