how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize