It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize