I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She's the barista slut.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize