Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
