yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize