You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
