windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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