just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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