So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
