your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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