theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
