new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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