so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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