i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
