I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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