I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
